I'm a True Liar at Heart
by Nayru Elric
Summary: Do you ever stop, and for one moment... genuinely consider what you're doing...? What you want... who you are... what you're looking for...? It happens to me all the time... Don't worry; I won't go on for long – promise! Just need to get something that's been troubling me off my chest.


Yo! Kano Shuuya, here. But you can just call me Kano. Nice to meet you!

You've decided to take a peek at what this particular story has to offer, and while I don't know how anyone could possibly be quite _that _bored, I'm not complaining!

Get comfy and huddle close 'round the campfire, kids! Lemme tell you a story~ The most interesting story you'll ever hear, I'm sure.

Oh, yes. For... this is a tale of such deceit, it's hard to know which parts are truth. And which parts are lies.

You'll just have to take my word for it, 'kay~?

Well then, better get started.

First, I'd like to introduce you to my kid sister, Kido-kun. Really a nuisance, that one. She's smart, I'll give her that. Rarely can I pull my "deceiving eyes" ability over on her. Even when we lived in the orphanage, before any of us – neither me, Kido, nor Seto – knew about the "special abilities" linked to our red eyes, did she believe me when I put up such theatricalities.

Heh, I drove Seto mad sometimes, making him believe the craziest things. Getting him in trouble. He despised me for it. And still does, no doubt, but he refused to use his ability of "stealing eyes" on me. He probably could have read my mind and seen the truth for himself. But he never did.

That idiot was too kindhearted, doing things like that. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside remembering it, aaah ha~!

There had always been something different about me when compared to the other kids. My ability to make people believe whatever I wanted them to, I knew, wasn't... normal.

If I told our mistress at the orphanage that Seto was the one who snuck out of bed and stole food from the pantry last night, she believed me. If I said that Kido was the one who made one of the other kids unable to sleep with a scary story, Kido would be the one to receive punishment. Although everyone knew it was me, someone else was always punished, because our mistress believed that it wasn't me when I told her so...

Yeah... I knew there had to be something strange about me, because whenever I willed someone to believe something, they always did, whether it was true or not.

Things stayed that way in the orphanage. I'll admit that I even did some dishonest stuff – more dishonest than lying about who stole cookies from the cookie jar, anyway.

At night, I'd go exploring the city by myself, though there were always shady people out at that time. Kido and Seto usually tried to stop me, but all it took was a slight flicker of my eyes to red to make Seto believe I needed to use the toilet. Sometimes, the same worked on Kido, but more often than not... she knew the truth. She wouldn't physically try and obstruct my path for long, though. She knew there was no way to stop me from going out if I really wanted to.

Dead midnight, I'd slink around the back alleyways of the city, in the shadows, hood pulled down over my face. Observing the occasional drug deal or robbery.

I never found out what I was looking for out there in the city, and... even I'm not sure what that was.

Never mind that, though. You're probably thinking how boring this all is at this point, right? Don't worry; this is where things get interesting!

We three were treated separately from the other kids at the orphanage thanks to our eye-abilities – Kido always disappearing on everyone, Seto knowing things he shouldn't from looking into people's minds unwarrantedly. And, of course, my bad habit of being a troublemaker.

I'm not sure how they found us, but the Tateyamas were the first to treat our powers like something they could handle... something that didn't define who we are. Our big sister, Ayano, showed us there was more at work there than evilness.

She _was_ like a big sister to us, Ayano. Always making sure everyone got an equal say. Comforting Seto and Kido when they were being so hopeless. Glad to say I wasn't a part of their circle of crybabies in the middle of the night – when they'd be whining about their own struggles associated to their red eye abilities. I'd stuff my face in my pillow, turn over, and go right back to sleep. Man, they were always so loud.

It made me feel left out, at times... Ayano, Kido, and Seto, always doing stuff together... They were always able to shut out the rest of the world, those three. Especially Ayano. She was good at making others think about the good in every situation...

No matter how much time passed, my lying habits never changed. When we got into public school, this made it exceptionally hard for me to make friends. While Kido, Seto, and Ayano had friends of their own, – though I won't say they chose friends very wisely, (that Shintaro kid Ayano hung out with gave me the chills just by looking at him!) – I never allowed myself to form a bond with someone. Or more as, I couldn't.

I was so used to using my powers to get me out of every tight situation. No one trusted me. And I could see why.

Ah, but that didn't matter much as long as I could be myself around the Tateyamas, Kido, and Seto. As long as they knew... well... I was all right.

That changed after mom died – Mrs. Tateyama, Ayano's mother.

Twice, now...

Two times, the three of us had lost our families. Kido, to a house fire. Seto, to a flood. Me... when a burglar attacked my mom in our house. I don't have many memories of my dad, but I do remember him being drunk most of the time.

Ayaka Tateyama filled the hole left by my real mother, so when she was gone... I...

I never let any of the others know how deeply it affected me. I found myself faking my own expressions a lot of the time – with my power. I couldn't help but feel my world was crashing down. Mr. Tateyama was nice, but... not the same.

I stopped being myself around them. I'd feel close to breaking down, but... I never wanted them to know about the true worries going on inside my mind. I knew there was something off about dad and Ayano after mom died. Ayano wasn't the same. She acted shifty and preoccupied...

And one stormy night, my suspicions were confirmed.

Ayano stayed up with the door to her room open, and when I went inside to ask what she was doing so late at night, she begged me for my help.

She told me she had found a journal of mom's. A journal that explained many things about our powers. That they were all connected to some shinigami monster and a snake demon.

It was a lot to take in, but Ayano told me that she had to find out more. And asked that I fill in her presence in school.

There was no way I could say no to our loving, adorable big sis, so... I agreed. For weeks and months – and what almost felt like years – I made myself look like Ayano and pretended to be her.

It actually made me feel guilty for a change, impersonating her for so many hours of the week when she should have been at school. Still not fully understanding what she had planned.

She disallowed even Kido, Seto, or Mr. Tateyama to know. Only I knew. And her secret stayed with me – I'm an expert liar, after all. Little did I know, her secret would die with me, too...

I'd run into some of her friends at school sometimes, which was difficult. Never really being a people kind of person, acting sweet like our big sister was challenging for me. A challenge I'll probably never face again. Unless I decide to impersonate someone for more than just my own amusement again sometime. And I don't.

That Shintaro kid was such an arrogant –

I wondered how someone like Ayano could be drawn to him, but I figured it wasn't much of my concern – though she'd made it my concern, having to pretend to be her. There were these other two airheads, too. Like mirrored personalities of Ayano and Shintaro, just with the genders flipped. They were easier to get along with, but even so... hard for me.

A couple weeks of being Ayano later, I couldn't take it anymore. And I begged Ayano to let me off the hook – to let me go back to being myself. I swore to never tell anyone else of what she was doing or about the journal mom had written in if she did. She always convinced me that she was so close to an answer and just needed a little more time. And I continued lying for her, no matter how much I didn't want to. There had to be a good reason if Ayano wanted it. There had to be...

Ayano returned to school, eventually. But not before missing the entire winter semester and half of the next. I was happy to finally be able to stop impersonating her. Unfortunately, my feeling of relief didn't last...

Ayano had told me a lot about what she was doing, but she hadn't told me enough to know what she was planning... She disappeared into the void from whence our powers had come, when I was right...

I don't know why she did it or what she planned to do once she got in there. One day, I came home, found the note she'd left for us in her room and... she just...

Kido, Seto, and I moved out of the Tateyama household after that; got our own apartment.

I named us the Mekakushi-Dan, and we've been doing our best to gather others who have eye-abilities and information on them ever since.

Kido and Seto, at least, seem to have moved away from the past; realized there was nothing they could do.

That isn't the case for me, however...

I could have saved Ayano... If only I'd had the courage to ask her what was wrong... but I didn't... I was a coward, and she went charging off by herself to try and save the rest of us...

Heh... she was always full of surprises... always looking on the bright side... Thought she could take on that snake demon by herself. Some sense needs to be knocked into those kinds of optimistic fools... but even then, I don't think even that would have stopped her... no... only if we'd physically held her back, would she have reconsidered.

And if that's what it would have taken, I'd do it. I'd do it in a heartbeat. But now... she's gone... It's too late...

Kido and Seto never realized, I'm sure, that I knew. Or what it's done to me. They've moved on and focused on something else, like the Mekakushi-Dan. But for me...

Every day, it's the same: Searching for clues that lead to new members. Meeting and convincing these new members of our intentions. Wondering what it could all mean. Gathering information. Running into another mystery.

Over and over.

Day after day.

It's the same.

We progress in our investigations, but ultimately... everything stays the same.

Ayano... Ayano is still dead. Who or whatever this snake demon is, it's still one step ahead of us no matter how far we get. We barely know anything about what it wants or who it's gonna target next. Our powers help us in many situations, and probably seem useful to normal people, but in the end... we're all powerless to stop what's going to happen.

It's all so boring – always having people believe this act of bravado I put up for myself. I don't show weaknesses around others, because... well... I'm so used to it by now, there's no way I could just throw my ego down the drain and forget.

Why, I'm Kano Shuuya, the trickster and deceiver, who cares little about what anyone else thinks. Suddenly breaking down in front of everyone else isn't... like me. I can't be myself around the others, even if I try.

It makes me wonder... what _is_ my true self like...? Is it the self I've made up for everyone to believe? Or... the me that I hide from everyone else in order to keep up my own pride...?

It doesn't really matter either way though, does it?

Kido and Seto... even Mary and Hibiya... or Konoha... Shintaro... and Ene... they wouldn't understand if I suddenly became myself. They only know me as the cat-eyed deceiver... and I guess... that's all I am... a cat-eyed deceiver.

There've been few times when I've shown my true self around the others. They never understand. They only laughed it off as something that could be ignored. Thought I was making it up.

How could anyone trust what's truth and what's lie with me anymore? What did I expect to happen? To have some huge awakening and just like that, everything gets better, all problems solved? Oh, please. That sounds like the resolution to some cheesy movie fresh out from Hollywood Productions.

I guess... at least now... I know being myself isn't an option.

My dramatic and traumatic experiences don't often haunt me, just to let you know. I'm not some weakling who, at the slightest reminder, all my thoughts and memories come flooding into my head, and I'm unable to handle it anymore.

Naaah. Don't even think it.

It's just... when I'm alone, with nothing to occupy myself... I start thinking of all the things I've done. And every memory – every act of deceit I've committed – stings as it passes through my mind. And I wish I could go back and change... I wish I could change my ways, before all of this, – before it became impossible for me to choose a personality, – before mom and big sis Ayano died... before they were killed by unlucky and unfortunate circumstance...

I don't wish to change the past. Wanting to change the past is nothing short of pure arrogance. I only wish... I'd known the future... before I'd come this far... but I didn't... and there's nothing I can do, now.

Ayano, Kido, Seto, Mr. and Mrs. Tateyama, Shintaro, Ene, Hibiya, Konoha, even those other kids Ayano hung out with, Takane and Haruka... they all had something I don't. And I'd like to say I'm jealous of them, but "jealousy" isn't the right word.

No.

They've all had something I'll never have... something I'll never know about...

Because at my core... I'm just a liar.

I don't even know what's real anymore... It's far too late for a hopeless fool like me.

Maybe, if I'd had someone to keep me in line... someone who knew what I was like... I wouldn't have turned out so bad...? Then again, what fun would that be? An idiot who doesn't use his powers like Seto is just putting them to waste! I'm sure there's an endless line of people who would trade everything they own for a power like reading the minds of others...

It's not like we humans are dependent upon the ties we have with other people. How many actually know who they are and what they're looking for, hm?

Unless, perhaps it's just... me. That's rather hard for even me to believe. The ties we have with other people determine how good we are at heart? How honest we are? Don't make me laugh.

...

Whether it does or not, there's no way I can change myself. Not after coming this far. Not after so long...

Ah, sorry! My apologies for keeping you~!

Now... how much of that did you believe? You'd be a fool to believe all of that, coming from Kano, the great deceiver here, but hey... you never know.

Thanks for taking time outta your – most likely – boring day to read the poor woes of one particular me~

Well, I guess this is where we say our good-byes. Remember not to take anything I've said too seriously!

See, I told you it was an interesting story, huh~?

Heh heh, I wonder... which parts do you believe...?


End file.
